It is snowing again...

It's snowing again... Some may feel happy seeing the snow, but for me, the falling snow just bringing back the sorrow memories inside me.

People ask to forget those memory to feel less pain. People asked to delete those pictures and anything which could bring back her memory. BUT... there is too much to be forgot and too many things which have our memories. It feel much less suffer to just leave those things around as it is.

Even if those things are not there, my mind still able to link me to those memories. I believe those memories will be remain till i die.

Even when im hearing songs, it brings back memories. The songs that i used to play when im driving the car, the favorite songs we hear, and those songs that she likes, i could still remember. Even new songs hurts as it triggers old memories. There is no escape, music is everywhere and it is part of life. I just need to accept and feel it.

Looking at travel magazines and travel information reminds me of the plan we make. No matter how attractive the online travel promotions is, there is no meaning any more. The waiting, waits no more. Pointless looking at those beautiful places. I feel no more to go to those places. I feel no more to look at those places. I feel no more to plan to go those places. It would just remind me of the sorrow.

Seeing couples who i know, makes me happy for them. Being so lovely, caring, and all the laughter they had just makes my heart freeze like dry ice, looks hot outside but it is cold inside. Just best wishes to those who still in love and wishes them to appreciate what they have forever.

Wish that i could wake up one day and i do not know who am i... only then i can stop the feeling. The pain is with me everyday, every second. I'm lost and living with pain...

Expressing my sorrow

守護者

天亮了你也離開了
回憶躺在房子裡發熱
你的喜怒哀樂
我會好好的收藏著

夢想一起有多難了
現在你卻往哪裡去呢
送給你的相冊
一直睡在一處不動聲色

我以為可以做你身邊的守護者
陪你遠走高飛不算什麼
一打打的理想容不下多我一個
卻帶走我的祝福和天空顏色

我以為可以做你身邊的守護者
陪你一起分享喜悅快樂
你堅決沒有束縛總是比較難的
未來天氣變得如何
都要自己撐著

寂寞城市

今晚的夜色很美　美得讓人想遲一點睡
若是夜空少了星星的點綴　月亮會不會累

這夜色淒淒的美　沒有愛的人容易憔悴
就像霓虹般亮麗的周圍　只是一種寂寞頹廢

城市裡所有寂寞的人類　有幾個和我一樣偷偷的流淚
若是將它一滴一滴積累　會不會流成一條冰冷的河水
　
城市裡所有寂寞的人類　有幾個像我一樣厭倦了疲憊
若是真心一顆一顆的摧毀　會不會全世界和我傷悲

整座城市陷入漆黑　孤獨人在尋找自己的定位
偽裝變成了一種防備　防備怕被人看穿了心碎

An empty shell

Celebrations and party is so happening in London and Manchester. I attended with my best appearance to fit the crowd. Laughter and jokes all around the nights. Pictures with smiles and funny poses but i'm actually just putting up the proper look to fit the events. There is nothing for me to celebrate about and nothing to be happy at...

The cold winter is indeed a chilling and sorrow for me. The pain that is so unbearable and it kills me inside slowly. I could not felt anything but just pure sadness.

Giving the best to help resolving the problem but just getting disappointing outcomes and the feeling of falling into darkness. Every attempt i have made, i thought i could forget the previous pain and keep trying and hoping a success, even a small appreciation or some sweets words, i would be very happy but unfortunately, there is none.

It's getting serious and i'm all alone to feel the pain... Just continuing to live with an empty shell.

A call with no answer

Awaiting an reply... but only get dissapointment everytime i checked...

I keep recalling... but there is still no answer...

The situation gone worse and i can't sleep well... my eyes blood nerves were bleeding and making my eyes red... people started to ask... and i used the reason of looking at the monitor too long...

How am i going to cure this red eye?

I'm still waiting... and i will wait...

Uncertainty

My days are getting harder to pass now days. Many things to consider and many things i would not want to let go.

I'm going to UK soon and the procedure is not done yet... or am i purposely delaying it?

First thing first, MONEY $$ it isn't cheap to go to UK. I'm considering the cost to UK and what will i get as a return. Is it worth going over the cost? I do not want to trouble my father much as well.

Secondly, I'm there and she is here... u know what i mean. Distance always a killer of love. It's a heavy opportunity cost if i lose this.

Third, i'm doing somethings where failure might involved. No one ever say doing Master is easy and the course i'm taking is about IT and i'm not a total IT graduate. Am i able to accomplish the course with flying colors or the other way?

My mind is full of thoughts every day every time and second. (Someone) Please tell me i'm thinking too much...

Time awaits!

Coming soon...

Will be officially launch at early of May...

www.urbanshoppingparadise.blogspot.com.. Remember to visit lo..

Getting clear

Finally, knowing what i do is right!

One should Work Hard and Work Smart to succeed. No doubts!

But it's better that you work hard and smart for your self and not hard and smart for others.

Yes, you are succeed if you work hard and smart for others... In other people's eye, you are indeed succeed.. but if you step back and look at the bigger picture, is what you are doing is because people think that is successful ? You are doing a success for others... and not for you actually.

So, why do for others so hard and smart?

I finally know... I finally get it... life is so much to do... so much of opportunity... so much of things for us to experience it... we are still energetic enough to do, so why wait?

Do what? DO what you like!!!