
It's snowing again... Some may feel happy seeing the snow, but for me, the falling snow just bringing back the sorrow memories inside me.
People ask to forget those memory to feel less pain. People asked to delete those pictures and anything which could bring back her memory. BUT... there is too much to be forgot and too many things which have our memories. It feel much less suffer to just leave those things around as it is.
Even if those things are not there, my mind still able to link me to those memories. I believe those memories will be remain till i die.
Even when im hearing songs, it brings back memories. The songs that i used to play when im driving the car, the favorite songs we hear, and those songs that she likes, i could still remember. Even new songs hurts as it triggers old memories. There is no escape, music is everywhere and it is part of life. I just need to accept and feel it.
Looking at travel magazines and travel information reminds me of the plan we make. No matter how attractive the online travel promotions is, there is no meaning any more. The waiting, waits no more. Pointless looking at those beautiful places. I feel no more to go to those places. I feel no more to look at those places. I feel no more to plan to go those places. It would just remind me of the sorrow.
Seeing couples who i know, makes me happy for them. Being so lovely, caring, and all the laughter they had just makes my heart freeze like dry ice, looks hot outside but it is cold inside. Just best wishes to those who still in love and wishes them to appreciate what they have forever.
Wish that i could wake up one day and i do not know who am i... only then i can stop the feeling. The pain is with me everyday, every second. I'm lost and living with pain...
